Shimmer
by Tess4
Summary: Harper thinks about his life and whether he may be i ngra (in love) with Trance


Disclaimers: Andromeda and it's characters belong to tribune but the song is Shawn Mullins'.  
Spoilers: Nothing from after season 2 premiere. Trance is purple   
Summary: Harper thinks about his life and Trance  
  
"It was an experience, not an epiphany"  
  
Harper was on the Maru, just sitting there, thinking. Having his ten minutes of intrapersonal thought.   
  
He was interrupted by a shout.  
  
"Harper, you in here?" Beka's voice interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in here Boss" Harper closed his eyes, pushing away the half-consciousness of his silent meditation. "Did you want something?"  
  
"I was just checking on you, haven't seen you for a few hours, what've you been doing" Beka appeared standing in the doorway.   
  
"Nothing, just thinking" Harper tried to keep his voice light, no sense in her thinking there was something wrong.   
  
"Okay Harper, sorry if I interrupted, I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning and don't stay up too late" She smiled at him before turning to leave.   
  
After he heard the Maru's airlock open and close, he quietly got up and went to Beka's music player.   
  
He found the song he wanted and put it in. When he sat back down it began playing.  
  
He went back to his thoughts and they mingled with the music. He thought about his parents, on the day he was born.   
  
They may have so many hopes for him. He had succeeded in the biggest one. He had lived.  
  
"Sharing with us what he knows, shining eyes are big and blue,   
and all around him water flows, this world to him is new,   
this world to him is new"  
  
Harper remembered hearing people say that everyone was born innocent. His parents may have thought so, he, well, he wasn't so sure.   
  
He wasn't innocent now, that's for sure. The Nietzscheans, the Magog. They'd all taught him that.  
  
But when he was a baby, he supposed, he didn't know the difference, human, magog. To him there hadn't been a difference.   
  
"to touch a face, to kiss a smile  
new eyes see no race, the essence of a child"  
  
He had learnt though. His life had been one big learning experience.  
  
" he's born to shimmer, he's born to shine   
he's born to radiate   
he's born to live, he's born to love   
but we'll teach him how to hate"  
  
And they had, the refugee camp, the attacks. The Magog raids. Loosing everything and finally deciding he had had nothing to begin with.  
  
Burt that wasn't true now. He had survived, escaped and now he was living like you were supposed to. Not moment to moment wondering when your luck will run out. Yeah, now he only had Magog larvae to worry about. No big deal.   
  
This was different. He had a home, safe on the Andromeda, he was living and he was beginning to believe he was in love.  
  
"true love it is a rock, smoothed over by a stream  
no ticking of a clock, truly measures what that means"  
  
Trance. He thought maybe, no, definitely, that he loved her. She was his shining light in the night.   
  
She sparkled like pain had never touched her, like she'd never known sorrow or like she'd experienced it all and had gotten through it.   
  
She didn't believe in living in fear of what would come, of the unknown. Maybe because it wasn't so unknown to her.   
  
She believed in living for the here and now, in catching each moment in her purple hands and using her talent to bring it to life. To help it flourish like one of her plants.   
  
"this thing they call our time, I heard a brilliant woman say   
she said you know it's crazy, how I want to capture mine  
I think I love this woman's way  
I think I love this woman"  
  
He loved Trance. The way she smiled at him. The way she tolerated him. Him, a mudfoot from Earth. While she, she was a sparkling purple princess, someone good and honest, much higher up on the list of those waiting to get into heaven.  
  
Yet she didn't act like that. Like he was any different. But then again, if Trance saw a hurt artarian tiger, she'd run to nurse and help it. Never fearing for a moment it would try and hurt her.  
  
He admired her. He loved her because she was what he wanted to be, someone who survived and never got angry at people just because they were what they were. He wanted to be like that.  
  
"the way she shimmers, the way she shines  
the way she radiates,   
the way she lives, the way she loves,   
the way she never hates"   
  
And she didn't, she didn't hate Nietzcheans just cos they were Nietzcheans. Or Magog just cos some of them killed, ate or infested people. She thought it was wrong of course, but she would not hate them for it.  
  
He did love Trance, but she was his friend as well.   
  
Just then he heard a noise. He looked up, it was Trance.   
  
She smiled at him. She didn't say anything, just came and sat down beside him. And listened with him.  
  
"Trance?" His voice is hesitant, maybe he was wrong about this.   
  
She just looks at him, she is smiling softly. Waiting.   
  
"Trance, I....I love you." His words are almost a whisper but she hears.   
  
She smiles again, her eyes are shining and she replies softly, "I love you too"  
  
"sometimes I think of all this that can surround me   
I know it all as being mine, but she kisses me  
and she wraps herself around me   
she gives me love, she gives me time yeahh....   
and I feel fine"  
  
They kiss, softly. Both of them unsure.   
  
Harper stops, moves back. Trance sits back and looks at him again.   
  
He began thinking again. This wouldn't work, would it? Trance would never accept him and all his past. So much pain, anger, loss and too much hate. All of a sudden he felt so old.   
  
"but time I cannot change,   
so here's to looking back  
you know I drink a whole bottle of my pride  
and I'd toast to change   
to keep these demons off my back  
just get these demons off my back"  
  
He felt more than saw Trances hand take his. He looked up meeting her eyes. In them, he saw so much, stars, the universe, love and trust.   
  
He was wrong. He thought she could never accept him for what he was, for all he had done.   
  
But he realised that she already had. And more than that he knew what she was prepared to do. He smiled back at her, happy. More happy than he had ever been before.   
  
"cause I want to shimmer, I want to shine  
I want to radiate  
I want to live, I want to love  
I want to try to learn not to hate"  
  
He leaned over and kissed her again. He knew now, that he loved her and she loved him. She would teach him not to hate. And he would learn under her guidance, her love.   
  
Time faded away into nothingness as they kissed and the song played it's final chorus.   
  
"we're born to shimmer   
we're born to shine  
we're born to radiate  
we're born to live,   
we're born to love  
we're born to never hate"  
  
The End. 


End file.
